Kiwi’s Crazy Comments

As my snarky, cursing fairy said comments that made me chuckle in the process of writing Unexpected, I shared them with folks on my Facebook page.  Now (with a little language clean-up), I thought I’d share a few with you as well.  I’ve put in ellipses (…) where there should be curse words, replaced with a tamer word (in parentheses) or I simply left them out.  As these are quotations of a character’s dialog, I have taken out the descriptive comments or pauses to make it easier to read in tiny bites.


“Am I what?  What were you going to guess? An elf?  A sprite?  A vampire?  I’m a fairy.  A fairy.  Tiny size, wings, these are the dead giveaways.”

“Did you have a question for me, or are you about to launch into a monologue?  Cause this ice cream’s not good enough for me to pretend to care.”

“Even a moronic Yeti knows how to avoid getting a good picture taken, and fairies are way smarter than those idiotic (beings).”

“You always have a book, little boy, don’t act like you brought it just so you could wait for me and pretend to be all chivalrous.”  (Kiwi, a six-inch fairy, frequently refers to Doug, a 6-foot 4-inch human, as “little boy.”)

“It ain’t like Fern Gully, if that’s what you’re wondering. Fairies don’t get physically attached to their trees, although some of them … are a touch too emotionally attached if you know what I mean.”

Mom’s Sayings

I had a chuckle-to-myself moment the other day while I was reading Brisingr by Christopher Paolini.  The main character thinks to himself, “If the occasion arises where I need it, I will be more happy to have it than I will be miserable carrying it all the way.”

The reason that I chuckled was because this is a fancy version of my mom’s favorite saying, “It’s better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.”

My mom has a few memorable quotations that my sister and I like to tease her about, because we hear them all the time.  The one above is definitely the best.  Two others are standard responses.  If one of us complains of pain, she immediately asks, “Did you take something?” and if we mention that we saw so-and-so in passing, she replies, “Did you speak to her?”

These types of things are what we hear in our head, even if Mom isn’t around, and they make me smile when I hear (or read) them from someone else’s mouth.  Every mom has something that she repeats frequently.  What does your mom say?

Words of Wisdom Wednesday

It lives!!!

I’ve missed a few weeks of Words of Wisdom Wednesday, mostly because there haven’t been any quotations that spoke to me recently.   I saw a good one in the book I am reading, though, and so I thought I would share it and some of its relatives with you.  Theme for this week is past, present, future quotes, from any source.  Go!

“Yesterday is history.  Tomorrow is a mystery.  But today is a gift.  That is why it is called the present.”  – Kung Fu Panda

“Past, and to come, seems best; things present, worst.”  – King Henry IV, Part 2 by Shakespeare

“Live in the present, remember the past, and fear not the future, for it doesn’t exist and never shall.”  – Eldest by Christopher Paolini

Words of Wisdom Wednesday

Okay, time for direct quotations from Shakespeare in other movies.   I only have two, but I’m guessing you can add some more.  Go!

“I burn, I pine, I perish.”  – 10 Things I Hate About You, and The Taming of the Shrew

“Out! Damned Spot!” – Gnomeo and Juliet and Macbeth

Words of Wisdom Wednesday

Every group that spends enough time together has movie/TV/book quotes that become part of their language.  Today, for your enjoyment, some of the quotes that are frequently heard in my office.  (These are as-quoted, so they may not be quite correct.)

“You sit on a throne of lies.”  – Elf

“It’s a cow’s opinion. It’s moo.”Friends

“Not my chair, not my problem.”  – This is from an incredibly inappropriate YouTube video, which I will not name here (as I don’t want to be responsible for sending you there).  Even still, we use this quote all the time at work.

What quotes (correct or otherwise) do you hear frequently at work?

Words of Wisdom Wednesday

Now back on its regularly scheduled day, Words of Wisdom Wednesday!

Today, we want…  book quotes about birds!  Particularly birds behaving abnormally…

“‘What is it with you and football?’
Red shifted his weight and tucked one foot relaxedly up into his breast feathers.  ‘What is it with you and chess?  Maybe I just like watching humans beat the snot out of each other.'”   – “Tweaked in the Head” by Samuel C. Conway in Flights of Fantasy, edited by Mercedes Lackey  (Red is a Red-tailed Hawk.)

“… suddenly, Hyllarr drooped on his shoulder, dropping the injured wing even further.  :Hurts,: the bird moaned, making little chirps of distress….  Then the bird straightened again, a distinct gleam of humor in the eye nearest Darkwind.  :Good?: he asked?”   – Winds of Change by Mercedes Lackey (Hyllarr is a Crested Hawk-Eagle.)

“Hedwig gave a very loud hoot and took off so suddenly that her talons cut into his shoulder.  She kept her back to Harry all the time he was tying his letter to the leg of a large barn owl.”  – H.P. and the Goblet of Fire, by J.K. Rowling  (Hedwig is a… really?  I need to tell you?  Fine.  Snowy Owl.)

Birds Acting Oddly – go!

Words of Wisdom… Thursday?

Ok, so today’s not Wednesday.  I’m working a weird 6-day schedule at work and it threw my whole week off.  I realized last night that I forgot to do a quote post yesterday, and I had a really fun quote to share!  It’s my blog, so we’re going to do Words of Wisdom Thursday this week.  🙂

No theme today, just one-line quotes that you like!

“Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can’t see where it keeps its brain.”  – H.P. and the Chamber of Secrets, J.K. Rowling

“‘The bird who shall not be named’ is our recommended substitute for the name Mangrove Cuckoo.” – “Follow These Rules to See a Mangrove Cuckoo” from Good Birders Don’t Wear White

During the sixties, my father was the perfect hippie, since all the hippies were trying to be Indians.” The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven by Sherman Alexie

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