Time on my hands

I worked this morning, but only for a few hours, and I don’t work tomorrow.  This may seem like no big deal to most of you, but my schedule has been really bizarre for the past several weeks due to some crazy work stuff.   After I got off from work, I went to the farmer’s market, grabbed some lunch out, and then came home and took a nap.  A few hours later, after some reading, TV, and web browsing, I found myself at a loss.

If we’re being honest, I was flat-out bored.

I started to call my mom, but then realized two things that made me hang up.  First, running to my mother whining, “I’m bored” is something I should have outgrown a decade and a half ago.  Second, I already knew what she’d say.  Go for a walk.  Take your dog to the park.  Write.

Heeding my mother’s unoffered advice, I went for a walk.  I had planned to use my foot-brain connection to start stirring up Mara’s story again, but instead I made a realization.  I have forgotten how to relax.

Perhaps that’s not the right wording.  It would probably be better to say that I’ve forgotten how to enjoy my down time.  For the past several weeks, what personal time I’ve had has been consumed with getting enough sleep, feeding myself, and keeping my apartment in livable condition.  Now I find myself once again with time to spare, but with my previous habits all but vanished.

Tomorrow I plan to go hike at a local state park.  Nature always has a way of helping me center myself, so I am hoping that a good morning out-of-doors will realign this odd new situation.  That foot-brain link should also kick in, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll finally have some pages to show for it.