Writing Letters

I use writing to deal with emotions and thoughts that I don’t know how to express otherwise.  Besides poetry and emotional writing practice, I’ve written (un-sent) letters to coworkers, friends, family, and even significant others.  These letters are a chance to put what I’m feeling down on paper.  Once they are written down, they usually stop circling my head and dominating my thoughts.

Here is my dilemma: at what point are un-sent letters not enough?  At what point do I use those letters to organize my thoughts and present my emotions, my responses to situations, to the person who needs to hear them?  The few times I have shared letters with someone went incredibly poorly; instead of giving that person insight into my side of the issue, they inflamed an already volatile situation into a full-scale argument.  (Granted, I know now that the other person involved was never going to listen to my side of things, so I can’t take his reaction as the only possible response.)

I am in another situation that I fear has gotten to the point that writing down how I feel and keeping it to myself is not going to suffice.  It’s hard to be upset with someone for not considering my feelings if they haven’t heard my feelings.  So here again is the question: when is writing letters not enough?  When is it worth exposing myself to a possible negative or angry response so that the person in question has heard my side of the story?


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. littlemisshomosapien
    Dec 27, 2010 @ 10:50:06

    I don’t think that there is a law that necessitates us writers to always explain in detail the things that we write. Our writings, even if they are written in journalistic fashion, will always be like abstract paintings: that is there is all to them. Once thoughts are written down, it becomes a form of art, and how they are interpreted becomes the problem of the reader. 🙂


  2. Tammy
    Dec 27, 2010 @ 14:59:49

    I completely understand as I am much better on paper than in conversations. I obsess constantly to a downfall. It has happened to me though many times that the intent of my writings was missed by the person reading it-they do not always get the emotions behind it all. Often the writings were and are about my perspective-what I experience through my viewpoint and my heart and the other person doesn’t see their perspectives represented. Well it wasn’t about them. I have learned that writing helps me process and I cannot control how the other person will react. Sometimes it just needs to be shared and said. It is about taking care of self and what happens, happens. Control is an illusion.


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