A Brief Reflective Moment

I didn’t want to blog today.  I worked late, there is interesting TV on, and I figured that most of my readers would be okay giving me a pass.

However, I have a very well-developed sense of guilt.  I practically have my own personal “nag” resident in the back of my brain.  I felt bad not writing; I’m supposed to write every day – if I just choose to skip, then I am not living up to the standards I have set for myself.

This personality trait makes for a lot of difficulty.  When someone “yells at the messenger” and I get the brunt of it, I take it a lot more personally than I should.  If I say something that comes out sounding dumb, or that is taken wrong, I run the scene through my head on loop repeat for days.  Even when I’m supposed to be relaxing, I’ll feel guilty not working if I have a to-do list.  I don’t break rules easily, even when I’m just imagining the rules (like not parking somewhere if there is an ambiguous sign). 

Unfortunately I haven’t been able to link this guilt to something productive, like stopping myself from eating junk food or making myself work out.  With the blog and my new writing routine, at least I’ve tied my guilt-monster to something useful!

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jack
    Oct 14, 2010 @ 22:27:02

    So I did Yoga at Discovery Green today… or rather, PiYo (Pilates/Yoga hybrid… though it was mostly yoga). It was interesting and I’m thinking I’m going to try going regularly. Considering that zoo people seem to have a great appreciation for free things, would you be up for going sometime?

    Reply

  2. YerMom
    Oct 15, 2010 @ 08:12:00

    Unfortunately, I think I know where you got this “less than ideal” gene:)

    Reply

  3. jannatwrites
    Oct 16, 2010 @ 00:10:38

    Guilt is such a pest. It’s always on my case, too.

    Reply

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